Advent Calendar Blog 2022 – The Voice

Can you name something that you are doing, but might not be aware that you’re doing it? How about self-talk- as in talking to yourself, your inner voice?

Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head, influenced by your subconscious mind, revealing thoughts and beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Some of your self-talk will come from logic and reason, while other things you tell yourself may be born from misconceptions created by a lack of information or preconceived ideas of what may happen.

I noticed how It would upset me when I heard people next to me speaking their negative self-talk out loud..telling themselves to do better, or calling themselves dummy and how it crushed me that they thought this way. Immediately I would jump in and correct them, and remind them to be gentle with themselves, and point out how it wasn’t that bad, and they were doing fine. And then one day, I heard myself doing it, and I understood how damaging negative self-talk could be.

We’ve all done it, blaming ourselves when things go wrong, or seeing things only as good or bad – no gray areas, or always expecting the worst in situations. Most of the time, the things we tell ourselves we would not call out another human being for it, and yet, we do it to ourselves, much too often.

So that had to change.The good news is that I learned that I had the power and ability to shift that inner dialogue so that it wasn’t playing against me. Having a positive outlook, and being mindful of how I approached all situations meant that I could also steer thoughts about myself in a positive direction.

Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you become oblivious to life’s less pleasant situations. It just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

Ways to be more positive

Becoming more positive is as easy as creating a new habit. It will take time and practice but everyday, people are turning their negative into positive thinking.

• Identify areas to change. Start by identifying areas of your life that you usually think negatively about, like work, a relationship or life changes and where you would like to see an improvement.

• Practice positive self-talk. There’s only one simple rule: Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you.

• An attitude of gratitude. Think about things you’re thankful for in your life, and that you are good at.

• Check yourself. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you’re thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.

• Use humor. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed so seek humor in everyday happenings.

• Follow a healthy lifestyle. Exercise and a healthy diet can positively affect mood and reduce stress. Aim to exercise for about 30 minutes on most days of the week. Get enough sleep.

• Surround yourself with positive people. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people helps. Watch how positive people speak and carry themselves, and how they manage stressful situations.

Practicing positive thinking every day

If you tend to have a negative outlook, don’t expect to become an optimist overnight. But with practice, eventually your self-talk will contain less self-criticism and more self-acceptance. You may also become less critical of the world around you. Here is what positive self-talk sounds like.

1. I have the power to change my mind.

2. Attempting to do this took courage and I am proud of myself for trying.

3. Even though it wasn’t the outcome I hoped for, I learned a lot about myself.

4. I might still have a way to go, but I am proud of how far I have already come.

5. I am capable and strong, I can get through this.

6. Tomorrow is a chance to try again, with the lessons learned from today.

7. I will give it my all to make this work.

8. I can’t control what other people think, say or do. I can only control me.

9. This is an opportunity for me to try something new.

10. I can learn from this situation and grow as a person.

When your state of mind is generally optimistic, you’re better able to handle everyday stress in a more constructive way. That ability may contribute to the widely observed health benefits of positive thinking. In addition to improving your psychological well being by lowering distress, anxiety levels and depression, it is believed that positive thinking may give you a greater resistance to illness and potentially increase your life span.

Today’s journal prompt: Something I attempted that took courage….

Intention for today’s meditation : I have the power to control my thoughts and I chose to be more positive.