Do you know what causes the greatest disconnect with your inner self? Not being authentic. Not being authentic to your personal values, goals and dreams will take you further and further away from leading a life of happiness and fulfillment.
I am able to write about this today, because I finally had what Oprah would call an “AH-HA! moment” and I am eager to share it with you. By the way, the thing with AH-HA moments is that they slowly build over years, giving us subtle (and not so subtle) clues and hints along the way until they culminate into one jolting event where the lesson finally gets our attention.
Over the years, I have learned enough to recognize that every time I experience regular occurring “stressors” in my life, my knowledgeable, and usually wiser Self, choses to rebel and act out in ways that are contrary to the direction and tone I set out for my life.
In those periods, I eat things that are not good for me, I don’t get enough sleep, I stop meditating and journaling and I stop engaging in the activities that make me happy and fulfilled – even blogging! Of course, I also become more negative and judgemental and I’m basically a wreck until I find the strength and resolve to say “enough!” and take control of my life again, and send the mutinous behaviours away.
Through the years, I have picked up enough of the clues to understand that whenever I am going through this angst, it signals that something is not lining up with my authentic self. Either my behaviour is incongruent with my true desires, or my actions are motivated by fear, not by joy or I might be avoiding a difficult conversation, or procrastinating on a task I don’t like doing, like my taxes in February.
“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”—Mitch Hedberg
Put simply, being authentic means you’re true to your own personality, values, and spirit, and living in alignment with those values, regardless of the influences that you’re subjected to. If you are letting yourself be influenced by the pressures of others, or the environment or the times, then your life will be a wreck. You will be grumpy, frustrated, possibly experience anxiety and get to a point of depression. It’s not what you want for yourself and not what I want either. You and I both deserve better.
The benefits of living true to yourself are obvious.
- It’s a lot easier to do the right thing when you dont have to second-guess yourself, because you have already figured out who you are and what you believe in.
- Living authentically gives you the strength and openness to deal with problems quickly, instead of procrastinating, or pretending they are not there.
- Being authentic to yourself is far less stressful than being someone you are not.
- It allows you to trust your decisions and judgements and allows others to trust you and respect you for standing by your values and beliefs.
- Instead of letting others dictate what’s best for you, you take control of your life and achieve your potential.
- Knowing you are making the right decisions helps you to feel genuine. In turn, this gives you greater self-confidence and self-esteem, and a more favourable outlook on life.
So, getting back to my AH-HA moment!
I will end the suspense by telling you that its no use being someone you aren’t, and in my excitement and desire to help others through coaching, which feels natural to me, I was taking on much more than what I was willing, or wanting. I am always saying how the Universe is full of possibilities and being the spontaneous and creative person that I am, I was allowing alot of those possibilities to crowd my original intentions and drive an agenda that went beyond my personal style, and my true desires.
My connection to people is strongest when I am myself, when I show my vulnerability, and some compassion. The KISS method works best for me – Keep It Simple Sylvie!